PUNCH Magazine weekly

Issue 9

PUNCH Magazine weekly 3rd December 2015
PUNCH Magazine
The Official Weekly humourous and satirical publication of The Whig Party

Issue 9

Correction Rename the $730 Billion AUD generated annually through the Federal Credit Tax the 1% GST or EGST

There has been much ado about domestic violence lately Boys before the girls get too cocky about this here are a few practical words of advice if you feel like murdering the trouble and strife!? You may not like what you are about to hear from yours truly it's like drink driving fellas we've just got to take the hint

Google fruits of the spirit

COUNT TO TEN OR RECITE THE FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT

There has been much villification and man hating regarding domestic violence that seems to affect one third of the population without any dissemination or discussion allowed on the male perspective aka the perpetrator. Whereas every kind of abuse is inexcusable in the first instance or the second it is not the exclusive preserve of the male and in many instances far from it. Emotional physical psychological and verbal abuse can often be perpetrated by the female especially where insecurity jealousy ( and mental illness) are involved. And for both parties no amount of domestic violence orders imprisonment criminal prosecution and possible custody orders safe refuge for the homeless and family breakup can substitute for the following piece of practical advice to both parties that will work in any situation and circumstance inside the home and out.

Google

THE FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT

or look up Galatians Chapter 5 verses 22-26 and spend 5 minutes of your time memorising them - there are 9 FRUITS of the spirit which can be found in the Holy Bible and are not absent from any other religion, sect or denomination nor is there any Country on Earth that outlaws these attributes and they are as follows:- Love joy peace forbearance kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self control Mnemonic or aid to memory L J P F K G F G S C Against such things there is no law

Perhaps FORBEARANCE is the only one that needs explanation and which is the most appropriate in the context of Domestic Violence Forbearance is a legal term and is the exact opposite to the term Act as in act or forbearance for example In a contract the term forbearance means refrain cease desist resile prohibit eg not sell a certain good or service within a certain geographical area And is the most apt where you are in a contract with the world not to emotionally physically psychologically or verbally abuse

The practical advice is as follows: - to Learn and comitt to memory these FRUITS of the spirit using the above mnemonic ( or aid to memory) Pin it on your fridge - frame it and place in every room in the house - use it as a frieze or border halfway up your living room wall And MEMORISE IT and repeat it to yourself daily

The counsellors suggest count to ten and breath deeply walk outside etc this is fruitless FRUITLESS get it!? So The next time you are in a stressful situation repeat to yourself out loud using the spoken word for others to hear the words FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT L J PFKGFGSC and I guarantee that whatever situation or circumstance you find yourself in will defuse you and your opponent immediately ameliorate the situation you are in and I guarantee that its recital works immediately on yourself and everybody else within earshot to calm yourself down and them no matter where or when you are in conflict with another This may even save your marriage friendship or other family relationship And domestic violence will become a thing of the past Now do it and do it now - five minutes of your time that will change your life Mnemonic memorise repeat FRUITS of the spirit Test yourself on the initials L J P F K G F G Sc by filling in the last part of the word This practical advice and simple act will change your life and others around you

Indeed the fruits of the spirit can be used as a yardstick against (which can be measured) any thought word and deed Just imagine every TV Programme video CD DVD YouTube News programme radio newspaper ( lol) magazine with a score of 1 - 9 of how well and how many of the fruits of the spirit are demonstrated.

Extend this to phone calls actions and business activities even transactions in fact every aspect of our lives Even film censorship

If each film were guaged as to how well it represented or portrayed the fruits of the spirit ( on an entirely voluntary basis) how well the root causes of many of the ills in our society could be addressed and one's own behaviour in particular not to be modelled on eg John Wayne

May God bless you PUNCH Magazine weekly

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With apologies to LONDON and his mate CHARIVARI


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